May was an awful month. Let me say, I couldn’t be more happy that it’s over. June is looking brighter already.
So, without going into too much detail, here’s the skinny. My husband and I have a bi-polar teenage daughter and I have anxiety issues Sometimes those two things coalesce into a hurricane of awful.
Additionally, there’s a job, two younger children, a home and a marriage, all of which need attention and cultivation regularly. This is the everyday for so many of us, and it’s BIG. It’s everything.
After the implosion, I rediscovered how immensely soothing drawing is/can be for me. “May” was begun before the implosion, but her maturity and fulfillment is the result of my emotional needs. This is where drawing becomes essential for me.
There is therapy in there. Forced meditation and quiet. Mind you, I also did many other things to address my depression and anxiety.
I set up a treadmill desk and am averaging about 10 miles each work day. This is a sizable amount and really doesn’t feel like exercise after the first week or so. It’s just what I do now. I work and type and walk. My body loves it and my mood is substantially improved. Oh and it also reminds me to drink more water, which is all good for brain chemistry as well.
Pulling back on the summer art shows was a hard decision for me, but I’ve found I over-commit myself pretty regularly. I am a person who can often ‘do it all’ – but it doesn’t mean I thrive with that kind of pressure.
Oh, and I started playing the piano. No planned lessons or schedule, just picked up a book and a cheap piano at the pawn shop and started plunking away.
The result is that I’m spending so much more time enjoying my family, exploring multiple interests and appreciating myself. It’s that whole damn ‘enjoy the moment’ thing that everyone says is important and I always wrote off as a mantra for suckers who didn’t have goals. Here I am, one of those suckers, and I’m so much happier for it.