I Plant My Feet and Magic Blooms

A few weeks ago I was meeting with friends and the question was posed – ‘What do you know for certain?’

This is a big question – monumental in many ways. Can I trust my senses? Can I trust my experiences, my recollections, even the lessons I’ve learned in the last 44 years? Can I trust my friends and family to behave consistently, to be reliable? What is knowing and what is trust and how can I possibly know anything FOR CERTAIN. Certain seems like a powerful word.

We went around the ‘circle’ … on Zoom there are no circles … and when it was my turn I felt a kind of stumped – and then my mouth opened and words came out.

“I know that, no matter what happens to me or to the people I love, no matter who leaves and who betrays and who causes incalculable harm, I know I can rebuild. I know that as long as I am breathing I have the power to build a home and to find happiness in sunshine or shadows. I know, for certain, that I can create joy and wonder in even the bleakest moments.”

Saying it aloud sent my superstitious knees a-knocking – as though, perhaps, I have dared the Universe to challenge me. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve done something so foolish.

So now I wait, throwing salt over my shoulder, for the blowback … and until then I watch the magic I have cultivated and somehow still feel certain.

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